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Thursday, March 4, 2010

My Biggest Pet Peeves

We all have things that just drive us absolutely up the wall, and here are the biggest ones for me...

  • People who park JUST bad enough to keep you out of the next space
  • People who update their Facebook every 10 minutes. WE DON'T CARE.
  • Gauchos.
  • Snobs who constantly talk about oppression and “fuckin capitalist pigs” when they obviously are trust fund hippies.
  • White guys that wear rasta stuff
  • Douchey frat guys
  • People who mix up “then” and “than” (also acceptable hating on mixups of: “off and of,” there, their, and they're,” and “your and you're”)
  • Crocs and Uggs
  • People that worship Edward Norton
  • People who constantly quote Anchorman and Dumb and Dumber. They had their time. It's done now.
  • People that don't know when to stop (either talking, hanging around, etc.)
  • People that think they are Dane Cook in everyday conversation.
  • People that can't laugh at themselves
  • Walking stereotypes
  • People that can't pick up on when a joke is taking place
  • Fat people that try to pass themselves off as “Curvy.” It's not a glandular problem, and its not thyroid. You're lazy and eating 10 candybars a day. Go work out.
  • People in America that refuse to wear deodorant because it's “not in their culture.” PUT IT ON, STINKPITS.
  • Girls who “dont believe in taking birth control”
  • People who tell stories more than once
  • Farmville
  • Excessive throw pillows
  • Hoarders
  • Stingy bastards
  • Teachers that just read off Powerpoints
  • How other people fold my socks
  • People that only wear joke t-shirts
  • People that wear all-denim outfits
  • Babydoll dresses. You're just hiding that you're fat.
  • Bitches
  • Hippies
  • People that don't know when snuggle time is over, and sleep time is starting
  • Getting retarded arm while snuggling
  • People that swear they've never masturbated
  • People that are more “Jesusie” than Jesus was
  • Broken candybars
  • Kids who have never worked a day in their life getting everything I don't have
  • Luke Walton
  • Skinny jeans
  • Tattoos that people get because they're "cute" or "cool"
  • Waiters that don't use their notepads and then mess up your order
  • Not getting my barbecue sauce with my chicken nuggets after i specifically asked for it
  • Political and religious extremists
  • Getting a parking ticket when you are only in a spot for 3 minutes.
  • White guys that can't dance. It makes us all look bad.
  • Smoking
  • Water that tastes bad
  • People that drench everything in ranch
  • Hot people that are bad at sex
  • Lady Gaga
  • People that talk to the teacher too much in class
  • Guys with put of control nosehair
  • Dudes with constant stiffnips
  • Chicks who have boobs all the way down to their hips because they refused to wear bras their whole lives
  • Having pennies
  • When the person who lived in an apartment before you forgot to tell their bank that they moved, so you get all their mail
  • Girls that love to talk dirty but have no concept of what sounds sexy
  • People that are pissed off at the club
  • Only having dollar bills when something costs some odd dollars and 4 cents
  • Over-the-top feminists
  • People that always complain about everything
  • Traffic lights that turn red at night when no one is coming on the cross-street
  • Couples that babytalk
  • Drivers that cut across the merge lane straight to the left lane
  • Drivers that never use their blinkers
  • People with either dried toothpaste on their lip or dried saliva in the corners of their mouth
  • People that spit excessively
  • The Godhatesfags people
  • The sound of high heels in a tile hallway
  • Wigs from old England
  • People touching the door as you hold it open for them
  • People that never say thank you
  • People that don't say "Hi" back
  • Bill O'Reilly

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